Learning how to walk in forgiveness is one of the most challenging calls in the Christian life. Offenses happen naturally in our daily routines, whether at home with our spouses, on the job in St. Louis, or while navigating community relationships. During a powerful Sunday worship service at We Believe Kingdom Church, Pastor Ken Robinson unpacked Romans 12:17-21 to show us what it really takes to drop our pain and step into freedom.
The world views church as an unforgiving place full of rules, but kingdom culture is built on relationship and grace. Pastor Ken made this clear right from the start: “The world perceives the church as an unforgiving place. We know better because we’re in it. They don’t know because they’re not in it… It’s a whole different thing when you know who Christ is and the freedoms that he gives.” To experience that true freedom, we must learn how to walk in forgiveness every single day.
Forgiveness vs. Suppression: Dealing Honestly with Heart Hurt
Many of us confuse true forgiveness with simple suppression. When someone hurts us, our instinct is often to push the feelings down, pretend everything is fine, and move on. Pastor Ken warned that this mindset damages our spiritual health. Learning how to walk in forgiveness starts with being honest about the pain instead of sweeping it under the rug.
“Forgiveness without honesty is really just suppression,” Pastor Ken taught. “If you’re not really honest in your forgiving, all you’re doing is suppressing the issue. The problem is that’s not kingdom-minded. He don’t suppress your sins when you ask for forgiveness… But we got this art form of suppressing what somebody had done to us. And that means that we don’t deal with it. So when you don’t deal with something that has happened to you, it festers and it grows and it gains energy.”
When we suppress our hurt, bitterness takes root. Pastor Ken described how bitterness accessorizes our lives like a bad outfit. Despising someone becomes our earrings because it is all we hear, and bitterness becomes our watch and shoes so we are on time to hate. Pastor Ken stressed that choosing forgiveness as a decision breaks the cycle before emotional damage takes root. When you choose to shed dark accessories like resentment, you discover how to walk in forgiveness with a clear heart.
Unpacking Romans 12: Why Seeking Payback Destroys the Believer
When bitterness settles in, it drives us toward retribution. We start scheming about how to get even. Pastor Ken brought us right into the text of Romans 12:17-19, reminding us that God explicitly commands us not to repay evil for evil or avenge ourselves.
Plotting payback drains our spiritual strength. When you spend your time planning get-back, you hand control over to the enemy. Pastor Ken stated, “Don’t you understand bitterness is what’s driving you to get the retribution that you think you’re entitled to? It will have you doing some plotting and planning… That means that when you plan an evil, that means that you give yourself to the thoughts of doing something evil to somebody. That’s what you’re thinking about. That’s what have you captured.”
You cannot discover how to walk in forgiveness if you are constantly scheming to get even. Instead of plotting payback, believers are commanded to leave room for God’s wrath. The scripture tells us, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.” God is accurate, and His justice is perfect. When we step in to handle things ourselves, we only cause unnecessary collateral damage. Stop seeking payback biblically by letting God hold the scales of justice while you hold onto your peace.
Personal Responsibility in the Pursuit of Peace
Romans 12:18 says, “If it is possible on your part, live at peace with everyone.” Notice where the emphasis lies. It lies directly on you. The brothers at our recent St. Louis Men’s Huddle discussed how leadership starts with peace inside our own homes. You cannot control what other people do, but you are responsible for your own reactions.
Pastor Ken emphasized this truth: “If it’s possible on your part. That means that you are responsible. Look it, look it, look it, look it! You took it in. You picked up the bitterness. Didn’t you do that? You did that… You got to set it down real good. In fact, you got to set it down better than you picked it up.”
Even when circumstances are out of your control, you are not out of control. Scripture calls us to take personal responsibility in the pursuit of peace. We are charged to pursue peace with all people, as Hebrews 12:14 and Psalm 34:14 instruct us. Jesus blessed the peacemakers in Matthew 5:9, calling them children of God.
Doing the Work of the Opposite: Practical Kindness in Action
How do we practically eliminate bitterness? Pastor Ken gave us the biblical strategy from Romans 12:20-21: if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. This is doing the work of the opposite.
“Did you understand that the scripture is giving you the recipe of how to work that bitterness out of you?” Pastor Ken asked. “This is called doing the work of the opposite. The objective is to ultimately discipline yourself so that it becomes a natural reaction… Somebody brings you some evil, you repay them with love… Somebody looks to do you wrong, you help them up.”
Treating your enemies with practical kindness breaks the power of offense. It may mean helping someone build a resume, serving them a meal, or speaking words of blessing when they expect an argument. When you do good to those who hurt you, you pour burning coals of conviction on their head while protecting your own heart. You overcome evil with good. Practicing active kindness toward those who hurt you is the ultimate test of how to walk in forgiveness in everyday life.
How to Walk in Forgiveness Daily
Understanding how to walk in forgiveness is not a one-time decision; it is a daily spiritual discipline.
Responding to Hurt: Two Paths
When offense occurs, believers face a clear decision point. Click any stage below to explore the biblical insight and self-reflection questions.
The Fleshly Path
Theme: Warning / CautionSuppression & Denial
Burying feelings, pretending “it doesn’t matter,” or masking pain behind apathy and superficial calm.
Bitterness Takes Root
Unprocessed hurt turns inward into resentment, inner rehearsal of grievances, and a hardened heart.
Plotting & Seeking Payback
Passive-aggressive behavior, gossip, retaliation, or calculating ways to get even and validate pride.
Spiritual Bondage & Isolation
Trapped in a prison of one’s own making, disconnected from grace, suspicious, and spiritually stagnant.
The Kingdom Path
Theme: Growth / PeaceHonest Acknowledgment
Admitting the pain truthfully before God and oneself without minimizing, raging, or putting up false facades.
Active Choice to Forgive
Deciding as an act of the will to surrender the right to get even, canceling the spiritual debt owed to you.
Leaving Room for God’s Wrath
Trusting divine justice rather than personal vengeance; stepping off the judge’s bench and letting God judge.
Doing the Work of the Opposite
Overcoming evil with active good—blessing those who curse you, praying for abusers, and extending tangible grace.
Path Outcomes Compared
Trapped in an Ongoing Cycle of Hurt
Generates ongoing emotional wounds, defensive walls, broken relationships, and spiritual bitterness that corrodes internal peace.
Real Freedom, Peace, and Reconciliation
Unlocks deep soul rest, emotional healing, spiritual maturity, open doors for relational restoration, and Christlike growth.
Living as Ambassadors of Reconciliation in St. Louis
Our personal forgiveness is directly connected to our broader calling as believers. In 2 Corinthians 5:18-20, Paul writes that God reconciled us to Himself through Christ and gave us the Ministry of Reconciliation.
Pastor Ken challenged the congregation directly: “He didn’t just reconcile you, but in that reconciliation, you were given the Ministry of Reconciliation. That means that if you’re in the body, your business is reconciliation. If you’re in the body, your business is displaying the kingdom as an ambassador… You can’t act like you’re getting reconciled without participating in the reconciliation.”
Kingdom living requires authentic faith over religious performance when we interact with our neighbors daily. St. Louis is a diverse region, and diversity can bring cultural tension if we live by the world’s standards. But kingdom culture transcends ethnic and social divisions. When we model how to walk in forgiveness, stop holding grudges, and treat others with love, our homes and local churches become living representations of Christ’s love.
As Pastor Ken reminded us from Luke 4:13, the enemy will always look for an opportune time to test our peace again. But because we are washed in the blood of Christ, we are more than conquerors. We can walk in natural, daily forgiveness.
Frequently Asked Questions About Biblical Forgiveness
How do you remove bitterness when you have been hurt deeply?
Removing bitterness from your heart starts with honest admission rather than emotional suppression. Acknowledge the deep hurt before God, make a conscious decision to forgive, and practice doing the work of the opposite by praying for or serving the person who hurt you.
What does the Bible say about seeking revenge on enemies?
The Bible explicitly forbids seeking personal revenge. Romans 12:19 commands believers to leave room for God’s wrath, stating that vengeance belongs to the Lord. Instead of seeking payback, Christians are called to overcome evil with good.
